11 KiB
Chapter 38 - Annie’s Memory
“Weirdo.” “Freak!” “Baby!” “Dork!” Mommy always used to say that words are meant to help. They are what separate us from the animal. Daddy would say that if you can’t say a kind thing, it is better to say nothing at all. So why then must words be so painful? I hate these words. I hate the ones who cut me with them day after day. Kids back home were not so rude and bad…but these kids were so horrible! Were all American children like this? I just wanted to crawl in a corner and hide…never come out again and just live there with Mr. Blacky. I clutched Mr. Blacky to my chest as I hid under the jungle gym outside of the recess ground. “I miss home, Blacky…” I whispered. “I want to go home. I want to get away from those children and their mean words!” How long had I been here in America? How many days had I been in hiding, running from place to place with nowhere to lay down and be tucked in at night? I didn’t keep count, because the number might hurt me even more. I’d always heard such great stories about America from Daddy…about how beautiful it was and how everyone was free. It seemed like a fantasy world…but here I was, and I didn’t want anything to do with it. I wanted to go home again…I wanted Mommy and Daddy to be here. “Will Daddy be coming soon?” I looked at Mr. Blacky, as if expecting him to answer me…sometimes I wish he would. I want someone to talk to who will be nice to me back. Someone like Mommy and Daddy. I sniffled a little, feeling pressure in my nose, and realizing it was running a bit. I rubbed my nose with my sleeve and silently wished Mommy was there to correct me for doing that. I could hear her voice now…that same soft but stern sounding snap that she’d give me to correct my mistake.
“Young ladies do not wipe their noses on their sleeves!” She’d say. I hiccupped and huddled into the corner of the jungle gym, remembering her face in my memory. She would always have a frown when she’d scold me for something. But that’s not what I loved to remember about her. I loved to remember how she’d looked at me when I was playing…how she’d smiled so wide when I’d shown her I could use mabeob…or magic as Daddy called it. She would tell me how proud she was, and all that I’d be able to do with it. “You will do great things, Soyeon.” She declared. “It is a wonderful gift. I have it too! I will teach you how to use it!” She told me. But there was always one rule. “Never show it to your Daddy.” I asked her why, but she just told me that she’d promised him she’d never use mabeob in front of him again. So I tried to keep it secret. But a few months ago, I messed up and accidentally used a spell in front of him. I shut my eyes and shook my head, biting my lip. I didn’t want to remember that memory. I didn’t want to think about how angry Daddy had been. How he and Mommy had been arguing about it. They’d shouted so long about some sort of promise they’d made…something about danger coming now. I didn’t pay attention to it…I was too scared of Daddy. I wish I had paid attention, because then…then I wouldn’t be here in the cold…hugging Mr. Blacky, scared and alone. So very alone.
“Hey it’s the weirdo!” I winced at the sound of the name and turned my gaze up to the sight of three of the usual mean boys on the playground. I didn’t know two of their names, but one of them was tall, tan, and dark haired. He talked with a funny accent and he always wore the same white football shirt with a blue “24” on it. His name was Diego. “Why you all alone, weirdo?” “Naebeoryeodoh…” I hissed darkly in my own language. He laughed and the others did too. “See, she really is weird! She won’t even talk English.” “Just go away.” I snapped. They laughed again. Why must they always laugh? When I speak my own language, they laugh. When I speak theirs, they laugh again. They are always laughing…and it is not funny. Their laugh is cold and disgusting. “Make us!” Diego laughed. I glared up at him and hugged Mr. Blacky closely. I could do it…I could make them leave me alone. But Mommy always said it was wrong. I asked her why but she always just said “People will not understand it.” Was that why Daddy didn’t like it? Was that why he shouted?
When Daddy had found out about it, he was really angry. He kept telling Mommy that it was dangerous, that I’d be found…that someone might come to our house. I didn’t understand it, but I did understand Daddy’s shouting, and Mommy’s tears. They were both afraid. Mommy kept trying to explain things to Daddy, and any time I came into the room, they would tell me to go to bed or go somewhere else. I could never listen to what they said. A few nights afterwards, Daddy stormed out of the house for a long time…and I didn’t see him again for a while. Mommy was really sad too. Was it because I was a witch? Was it because I could use mabeob? Did these boys hate me because of that? Was it just natural for witches to be hated by people? “Just please go away.” I finally squeaked out, getting up to walk away. “And we said make us!” Diego laughed, following after me, making me want to cry even more. “Why do you always sit out here alone? Where’s your mom or dad?” They laughed again…but I began to shake. “I-I-I don’t know…” I cried.
Three weeks after Daddy had left, men came to our house. Mommy called them Dawn Bringers. I didn’t know what that meant, but she said they were bad people who wanted to hurt me. She told me to run away and run fast. She would be right behind me. I did as she told me and I ran. I didn’t even have time to pack a bag. All I could do was grab Mr. Blacky and run out the door with Mommy helping me go. But as I made it out of the house, I heard the door slam behind me. Mommy wasn’t there…she’d gone back inside. “Run away Soyeon!” She had said. “I love you so much!” I ran. I ran and ran as fast as I could. I heard screaming and shouting behind me…and when I looked back there was fire leaping from the windows of my house. “MOMMY!” I shouted. “Be quiet!” I looked up to see Daddy there. There were tears in his eyes as he picked me up and ran. “We need to go. We need to go right now!” “Daddy where’ve you been!? Where’d you go!?” “I don’t have time to explain. They’re coming for you…and it’s all my fault. I didn’t mean for any of this.” He whimpered more like a frightened dog more than he did my Daddy. “You have to get away honey. They’re looking for you too!” “Where?” I asked. “Where are we going to hide?” Daddy took me to his car not far away. “Where’s Mommy?!” “…Mommy’s not coming sweetheart. Daddy can’t come either.” He whispered. “Remember what country Daddy comes from?” He’d asked. “Yes…America.” “Remember how we all talked about going there this month on vacation?” He tossed me a small backpack. I opened it to see a bunch of papers and a small black book with my face in it that he called a passport. He shoved me into the car and as I buckled up I kept shooting glances back at my burning home, tears rolling down my face in small streams. “Daddy….where is Mommy?” I cried. “She…she’s gone baby. She’s gone.” He sobbed. “You’ve got to go to America…you’ve got to get away sweetheart.” “But Mommy will come with us! She has to!” I cried, tugging on his sleeve. He shook his head. “I can’t come either, darling. I have to lead them away from you…get them off your trail!” He sobbed harder than ever, his hands shaking as he drove quickly into town. “I love you sweetheart…oh God please forgive me…” He cried. He cried the whole drive to the airport. I kept trying to make him come with me…begging him to come…pleading him to find Mommy, but I knew that he wouldn’t. The only words he gave me were the same ones Mommy gave me: “I love you so much.” He sobbed. When I got on that plane…I looked out the window to try and find him, but saw nothing but darkness. I would be in America the very next day. Alone…and terrified.
“Well?” Diego asked, pulling me back from my memories. “Where’s your Mom and Dad?” He laughed. “...” I turned to run away but he grabbed my wrist and yanked me around to face him. I didn’t want him or his friends to see my face. I was biting my lower lip, trying to hold back the unyielding tears that dripped down my eyes and smeared my glasses. I shivered and tried to pull away. “Aww, what a cry baby!” They laughed and carried on like a pack of birds cawing at the same time. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” I shrieked, yanking my hand away. “OR WHAT!?” Diego snapped, throwing me away. “You gonna cry about it!?” I’d had enough. I snarled and readjusted my glasses. I shoved him hard and he stumbled backwards. “DON’T TALK ABOUT MY MOMMY OR DADDY AGAIN!” I screamed. He got up and he shoved me back. I squealed and tripped, falling over. Mr. Blacky fell by my side and one of his friends picked him up. “HEY!” “Look she plays with stuffed toys.” He guffawed. “GIVE HIM BACK!” I cried. “Make us.” Diego challenged again. The words my Mommy said seemed so far away now. I didn’t care if these boys were a bit older than I was. I was 9 years old…I had feelings, I had so much pain…so much anger. And these three were pushing me too far. I felt that small piece or restraint snap in my mind. I held out my hand and pointed it at Diego’s pants. “HALAG!” I screamed. I reached out with the power of my mageog and watched as his pants instantly unzipped and dropped down to his ankles, exposing his rocketship underwear to his friends. “HEY! WHAT DID YOU DO!?” His buddies all stared in shock at what had just happened, dropping Mr. Blacky. I wasn’t done yet. They’d pushed me too far today and now I was going to finish what I started. I pulled back my hand as if holding a baseball and reached into the mageog. I inhaled softly, focusing on the power I was to wield and I finally thrust my hand forward as if pushing an invisible wall. “Deonjida!” I snapped. The invisible force I commanded threw the three boys backwards with tremendous force. It was a simple spell that commanded them to be thrown backwards as far as I wanted. I sent them soaring away and into the swings behind them. I scooped up Mr. Blacky and ran away, tears falling behind me. I laughed at what I’d done. Laughed at my victory. Laughed at things finally going my way. I’d shown them…I’d taught them a lesson. I away in the girls bathroom house near the playground and sat down on a toilet, my laughter fading and turning to sobs. “M-Mommy…Daddy…” I cried, hugging Mr. Blacky close. I had won only a small victory, but what I wanted wasn’t victory over bullies…I wanted Mommy and Daddy back. I wanted to go home…I wanted to go back to my family. I was so alone…so scared…so sad. All because I was a witch…all because I didn’t have any friends. “Na Jibae Gagosipeo…” I sobbed in solitude.